It has been 5 months and 19 days since my sweet papa has passed and 6 days for the love of his life, my Mema, to follow. For 3 Years I have been their caregiver and have realized how easily it is at "the end stages" to do nothing but remember the hard times. The last couple of years I have had the thoughts "why?", or "I'm to young for this responsibility".
Why did this happen to them?
Why can't they just remember?
Why am I stuck with this responsibility by myself?
Why? Why? Why?
Deep down I knew it wasn't their fault. It just got so hard to see the dreaded word, "Alzheimer's" take over their lives. It was just so hard seeing the 2 people in my life who were like my parents, get taken over by this dreadful disease. Now that it is all over I realize how this disease can take over and make the "caregiver" remember nothing but how hard it was. I am choosing to get over it and blog about the good. I refuse to let it get the best of me. I want to remember the Mema and Papa that were my whole heart...the ones I looked up to growing up.....
I was rotten. I believe I have the only Mema who would set a blow up pool in her backyard and boil water to warm it up and put in the pool in SOUTH GEORGIA so I wouldnt get cold.
I NEVER heard my papa cuss....except the one time in the middle of the night when I was in High school and was crying b/c I had my heart broken by a boy....he called him an as&@"!?.
I rememeber from the time I was little till the day I got married papa saying "Ive said since the day you were born, I'll be your daddy, I'll be your best friend, and I'll be your papa".
Memas shopping days before school started.
Mema going and buying me EVERYTHING she could find for me to wear to my first NKOTB concert
Mema and papa letting me drive them to church WAY before I had a license just because they couldn't tell me "no" :)
Them taking me to church and the the yummy meals afterwards. My fave being DQ with all the "old" people
Going to gospel sings and papa trying to tell the group how good I could sing when I TOTALLY couldn't sing....but he made me think I could :)
Watching Little Mermaid and Bambi, even in high school, on my "sick days" with Mema
The first time I went on a date with Matt and BEGGED them not to embarrass me but as we drove away there stood papa with his dog at the door making the dog do bye bye moves with his paws.
Getting home from my first date with Matt and Mema saying "that's the boy you are going to marry"...I thought she was crazy...
Getting married and moving away and looking so forward to visiting them b/c they would spoil me.....yes, I was rotten.
Having kids and getting excited to visit them b/c I knew the whole weekend I was there the kids would be taken care of and I wouldn't have to change a diaper....like I said I was spoiled. :)
After having 3 kids, I remember my visit to see them and tried on my wedding dress for kicks and it ZIPPED!! WHOO!!! That was after lots of sucking in and papa zipping it up with Cheeto fingers. Yes, the Cheeto stain on the back is still there.
I could go on and on....the point of this blog is that it is SO easy to remember the hard stuff. I want to try and rememeber the good. What a blessed girl I was to have Mema and Papa, a priceless example of what true love is.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Happy Birthday Sweet Gracie!
Wow! Already a year has passed. If you would have asked us 3 years ago if we would ever have a girl the answer would have been "NO"! We just never thought it was in the cards for us. Even now we randomly look at each other and say, "Can you believe we have a girl?'
Oh what joy you have brought to us sweet Gracie. You have every one of us wrapped with that sweet crinkled up nose smile and the sweet little random girly noises you make. Your brothers think the world of you, and part of the joy this year has been watching them take care and love on you CONSTANTLY. So much so that sometimes you see them coming and start fussing, and other times you see them coming and get jump out of your skin giggly excited. It's a pretty neat thing to watch and we just sit back and feel like our heart is going to explode because it is filled with so much happiness.
Happy Birthday sweet girl, we love you so much! Thank you God for blessing us so much with her and allowing us to be her family!
Oh what joy you have brought to us sweet Gracie. You have every one of us wrapped with that sweet crinkled up nose smile and the sweet little random girly noises you make. Your brothers think the world of you, and part of the joy this year has been watching them take care and love on you CONSTANTLY. So much so that sometimes you see them coming and start fussing, and other times you see them coming and get jump out of your skin giggly excited. It's a pretty neat thing to watch and we just sit back and feel like our heart is going to explode because it is filled with so much happiness.God has surely blessed us with you. I know no one is perfect, but you come pretty close. From sleeping through the night at 3 days old, to being the smiliest, happiest baby with the best personality. You are a cuddle bug and give the best slobbery kisses. Your "uh oohhh's, dot daaaaaaaawwwwwwg!, ya you, and oh wow!" makes us grin and laugh constantly. I could go on and on.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thoughts In Albany
Well, I am sitting here in Albany a.k.a. Agony, Ga., and I thought I would write a few of my thoughts and going ons. Hopefully after this trip I won't have but one or two more to go. For those of you who don't know, this is where I am from, and last year I was FINALLY able to get my mema and papa moved up closer to me so I could watch over them.
Papa has Alzheimer's and I am pretty sure mema has it to. They were like a mom and dad to me growing up and now it is my turn to take care of them. They are such a testament to life and marriage and I am so lucky to have them. Just a sample of their sweetness.....For Valentines Day I bought a dozen roses and a card and took them to papa. He doesn't even know what day of the week it is, let alone V-Day. I took them in his bedroom and told him what day it was and that these were for him to give to mema. His smile was priceless and even though he has a hard time remembering most things, he filled out the card by himself and wrote the same thing he has for the last 50 years, "To My Little Lady, From Your Man". How awesome that he still remembers that! He came walking down that hallway into the living room holding the roses and card so proud, and with the sweetest grin. I thought "man they can drive me crazy sometimes, but moments like this make it worth it!!"
Anyway,I have finally gotten the house (45 years of never throwing anything away) cleaned up, and tomorrow I am meeting with another realtor to get this house on the market. Kind of bitter sweet....ready to get it all over with, but sad to see the house I practically grew up in sold. I wouldn't have it any other way though because I finally have them near me!
So, as much as I say Agony, Georgia, I really can't complain to much. It was where I grew up, had and still have great friends, and met the love of my life! For that, I am grateful for this little south Georgia town. I may bid you farewell for good soon but old Albany will always be in my heart! Till next time.....
Papa has Alzheimer's and I am pretty sure mema has it to. They were like a mom and dad to me growing up and now it is my turn to take care of them. They are such a testament to life and marriage and I am so lucky to have them. Just a sample of their sweetness.....For Valentines Day I bought a dozen roses and a card and took them to papa. He doesn't even know what day of the week it is, let alone V-Day. I took them in his bedroom and told him what day it was and that these were for him to give to mema. His smile was priceless and even though he has a hard time remembering most things, he filled out the card by himself and wrote the same thing he has for the last 50 years, "To My Little Lady, From Your Man". How awesome that he still remembers that! He came walking down that hallway into the living room holding the roses and card so proud, and with the sweetest grin. I thought "man they can drive me crazy sometimes, but moments like this make it worth it!!"
Anyway,I have finally gotten the house (45 years of never throwing anything away) cleaned up, and tomorrow I am meeting with another realtor to get this house on the market. Kind of bitter sweet....ready to get it all over with, but sad to see the house I practically grew up in sold. I wouldn't have it any other way though because I finally have them near me!
So, as much as I say Agony, Georgia, I really can't complain to much. It was where I grew up, had and still have great friends, and met the love of my life! For that, I am grateful for this little south Georgia town. I may bid you farewell for good soon but old Albany will always be in my heart! Till next time.....
Friday, February 6, 2009
Man, I Stink!
So, I started this blog and have gotten fussed at because I haven't blogged since Thanksgiving! I stink... I know! I am going to try my best to stay on top of this though!
This year has already FLOWN by. It is now the beginning of February and it is so crazy to me how the older I get the quicker time goes by. I am currently sitting on the couch looking at Tucker with all his stuffed animals under the blanket with him. Out of all the boys he is the only one who has always, since the day he was born, gotten so attached to a stuffed animal. He takes them with him everywhere he goes, adores them, talks to them, fusses at them, and makes sure every night they are cuddled up under the covers for the night. I LOVE it....it is just sweet to see it.
Ty and Tanner are busy busy. Tyler got accepted into the gifted program at school, which was exciting for him because Tanner has been in it a few years and Ty now can experience the excitement Tanner gets from it. It amazes me the things they are learning and the difference it is since I was in school. Ty in 4th grade is doing things that I did in 7th grade and Tanner in second is doing things I did in 5th grade. It also amazes me the things I have forgotten :) But I won't get into that!
Matt and I have just been riding out this thing we call life. The ups and downs and everything in between. It is such a blessing to have a partner and best friend that I adore to experience the ups and downs of life. Of course, I must brag! We flew to Disney for Matt to do the half-marathon. He did a great job! Our whole family went and his brother did the full marathon. We all had the best time. Matt and his brother have already signed up for the "goofy" challenge for next year, which is the half marathon on Saturday and the full marathon on Sunday....yep....I think they are crazy! :) But I can't wait to root them on!!
Anyway, my goal is to not let so much time go in between blogs this time. I hope you all are doing wonderful and are enjoying your new year so far! Until next time....
This year has already FLOWN by. It is now the beginning of February and it is so crazy to me how the older I get the quicker time goes by. I am currently sitting on the couch looking at Tucker with all his stuffed animals under the blanket with him. Out of all the boys he is the only one who has always, since the day he was born, gotten so attached to a stuffed animal. He takes them with him everywhere he goes, adores them, talks to them, fusses at them, and makes sure every night they are cuddled up under the covers for the night. I LOVE it....it is just sweet to see it.
Ty and Tanner are busy busy. Tyler got accepted into the gifted program at school, which was exciting for him because Tanner has been in it a few years and Ty now can experience the excitement Tanner gets from it. It amazes me the things they are learning and the difference it is since I was in school. Ty in 4th grade is doing things that I did in 7th grade and Tanner in second is doing things I did in 5th grade. It also amazes me the things I have forgotten :) But I won't get into that!
Matt and I have just been riding out this thing we call life. The ups and downs and everything in between. It is such a blessing to have a partner and best friend that I adore to experience the ups and downs of life. Of course, I must brag! We flew to Disney for Matt to do the half-marathon. He did a great job! Our whole family went and his brother did the full marathon. We all had the best time. Matt and his brother have already signed up for the "goofy" challenge for next year, which is the half marathon on Saturday and the full marathon on Sunday....yep....I think they are crazy! :) But I can't wait to root them on!!
Anyway, my goal is to not let so much time go in between blogs this time. I hope you all are doing wonderful and are enjoying your new year so far! Until next time....
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Things I Am Thankful For
Tomorrow is Turkey Day, and as I sit here getting my recipes together to start my cooking I thought I would blog about things I am thankful for.......
-first and foremost my family and God
-sweet stinky snotty kisses
-great friends
-my home
-this awesome little town of Jasper
-my church
-chocolate
-cozy socks
-nights at home with my husband doing nothing
-fingerprints on my walls
-slobbery kisses from Millie
-coffee
-the mountains
-having the best neighbors in the world
-walking outside and seeing the cows right at the fence
-fall
-winter
-snowmen
-snow days at school when we cozy up and make hot chocolate
-having the sweetest, most loving, and unselfish husband
-knowing that every morning when Matt leaves he wakes me up to kiss me bye
-vacations
-life
-my neice, Caitlyn's, prayers
-having my grandparents close by and knowing they are happy
-sitting on Aunt Lu's front porch
-Miss Lynn's words of wisdom
-shoes
-peanut butter and jelly
-my boys getting mad if they are going to miss church
-Tyler taking his money to Atlanta and giving it to homeless without me even knowing
-Tanner's freckles and sweet smile
-Tucker's red hair and personality that keeps us smiling
-and again GOD and My Church, Revolution, where I have learned so much in the short time of going there
Hope everyone has an awesome Thanksgiving!!....now I am off to cook
-first and foremost my family and God
-sweet stinky snotty kisses
-great friends
-my home
-this awesome little town of Jasper
-my church
-chocolate
-cozy socks
-nights at home with my husband doing nothing
-fingerprints on my walls
-slobbery kisses from Millie
-coffee
-the mountains
-having the best neighbors in the world
-walking outside and seeing the cows right at the fence
-fall
-winter
-snowmen
-snow days at school when we cozy up and make hot chocolate
-having the sweetest, most loving, and unselfish husband
-knowing that every morning when Matt leaves he wakes me up to kiss me bye
-vacations
-life
-my neice, Caitlyn's, prayers
-having my grandparents close by and knowing they are happy
-sitting on Aunt Lu's front porch
-Miss Lynn's words of wisdom
-shoes
-peanut butter and jelly
-my boys getting mad if they are going to miss church
-Tyler taking his money to Atlanta and giving it to homeless without me even knowing
-Tanner's freckles and sweet smile
-Tucker's red hair and personality that keeps us smiling
-and again GOD and My Church, Revolution, where I have learned so much in the short time of going there
Hope everyone has an awesome Thanksgiving!!....now I am off to cook
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Priceless
A few weeks ago Tucker went from saying his prayers to singing his prayers. His own tune and all. Every couple of days he changes the tune up, but the other night I caught it on video. Enjoy!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Living In A Small Town
So, it has been forever since I have blogged, and I remember standing on Main Street during the marble festival parade and thinking I have to blog about this. As I get older I realize how much quicker life seems to be going by. So, I am trying to consciously "take in" the little moments.
Every year, the first weekend of October, Jasper has the Marble Festival. They start it off with a 5K in the morning followed by awards ceremony and then parade before the actual festival begins. As the morning started I had reminder after reminder of the reasons I love living in this place called Jasper, the First Mountain City. Here they are....
- I love the marble festival-I love getting up early and going to root on my family and all the runners-I love that I know almost all the people
-I love the cool morning-I love the "competitiveness" of some of my friends and who is going to beat who
-I love Coach Morris, Tyler and Tanners P.E. coach, pumping the kids up and hoping we have the biggest turn out of all the elementary schools
-I love Main Street-I love walking to Main Street after the race to see the parade
-I love that I am so blessed to have Aunt Lu with us every year to enjoy these things with
-I love the excitement of all the kids waiting for the parade, mainly just for the candy that gets thrown
-I love the "small town" feel PERIOD!
I could go on and on about why I love it here. This to me was just a reminder that we made the right decision a few months ago when we made the decision to not take a job 5 hours away! So that is all for now....I will blog again later about Ty's surgery and our beach trip!
Every year, the first weekend of October, Jasper has the Marble Festival. They start it off with a 5K in the morning followed by awards ceremony and then parade before the actual festival begins. As the morning started I had reminder after reminder of the reasons I love living in this place called Jasper, the First Mountain City. Here they are....
- I love the marble festival-I love getting up early and going to root on my family and all the runners-I love that I know almost all the people
-I love the cool morning-I love the "competitiveness" of some of my friends and who is going to beat who
-I love Coach Morris, Tyler and Tanners P.E. coach, pumping the kids up and hoping we have the biggest turn out of all the elementary schools
-I love Main Street-I love walking to Main Street after the race to see the parade
-I love that I am so blessed to have Aunt Lu with us every year to enjoy these things with
-I love the excitement of all the kids waiting for the parade, mainly just for the candy that gets thrown
-I love the "small town" feel PERIOD!
I could go on and on about why I love it here. This to me was just a reminder that we made the right decision a few months ago when we made the decision to not take a job 5 hours away! So that is all for now....I will blog again later about Ty's surgery and our beach trip!
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